Friday, September 19, 2008

Unwanted Stars

Today I received an unwanted star of motherhood. It wasn't my first, and I am certain it won't be my last. Why would a star be unwanted? Read on.

I brought my seven week old to the doctor today for something I thought would be simple. Silly me. I forgot that simple is another casualty of parenthood. Instead of the "simple" answer and solution I was expecting I was told my baby needs an ultrasound to determine if she needs surgery. Although it isn't anything earth shattering medically speaking, it is earth shattering for me because she's my baby.

Why does this deserve a gold star, you wonder? Because I was the mom. I stood there. I asked the important questions. I helped the doctor examine my baby despite her protesting wails. I kept it together, and I was the grown up (at least until I got in the car and processed the information later with my husband).

In reality this star goes in a column on my chart that I'd rather not have. No mother wants these stars. The ones that hurt. The ones from emergency room visits or mending broken hearts. The starts received for loving enough for two parents or for digging a hole in the backyard for a four legged friend. Are they undeserved? No, you deserve every point on that star. Yet despite all of it's shiny splendor, you'd give it back in a heartbeat.

2 comments:

Vintage Cowgirl said...

i ran across your blogspot on Rachael Ray's website, and i had to read on...
i just want to tell you, that you are not alone. i do not know where you are or who you are, and really none of that matters. all that matters is that my heart cries out for you. i am here in another pair of shoes doing the same dance, and it is far from easy! BUT, let me tell you, He never said it was going to be easy, He only said it would be worth it. i love you, sister. just press on for those babies, your hubby, and best of all... for you because you deserve all that the Lord has for you!

jubilee said...

I totally get it when you talk about unwanted stars. I have a few of those too. And yet they help make the wanted ones more special, yes?

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